A number of months ago, I gave my email to a website that sent me a few articles to help me to save my marriage. Back then, I was still determined to get my husband back.
I put on my warrior princess outfit, all suited up for a fight and I was going to win this one. Didn’t matter what it cost me. I went out and bought a program for over $400 dollars. It had all of the bells and whistles – gave me the promise of having my family back.
I was quick to believe that I should save my marriage even if I was the only one who wanted to. And you may have come across many websites promising the same.
There is a point in a relationship that couples have a chance to take it to the next level. This is where the relationship is in a crisis but both are determined to do whatever it takes to make it work.
Then there is the point where the person you love wants to walk away. This is much different and there’s no doubt that you may be experiencing this type of crisis. And I am by no means saying that there still isn’t hope. There may be hope but you have to understand certain principles and operate from strength.
Why? Your first reaction is to grab at the relationship because you don’t want to lose the person you love. This is normal.
But when you go by instincts, you will more than likely end up paying a whole lot of money with nothing to show for it in the end.
My advice is not popular. People want to have a quick fix. But I have done a lot of reading on trying to make a relationship work because I have been there trying and I want to help you.
When I did what works, I was literally transformed into being more happy and secure.
You need to move away from the relationship instead of wanting to save it. This is not easy. Your emotions are still attached. But you must act on principles instead of being a prisoner to your feelings.
Moving away will make you appear strong, even if you’re still hurting – strength is attractive. Weakness like begging repels.
When your partner see that you value your relationship but you’re willing to lay it on the line because of what you want, you will more than likely win his/her respect – meaning you state what you want once only without spending hours and hours trying to convince your partner. If your partner still feels different, you need to walk away.
Quite the opposite is also true, if you appear desperate (doing things that are well meaning), he/she will subconsciously disrespect you and will move away from you. Easier said than done! And you may have to try over and over again to let your partner go.
I hope by telling you the truth, it will save you a whole lot of money.
Nicole Gayle is the author of the best selling ebook, “What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out,” written to help people find emotional freedom during the breakup of their relationships.