Ways to Save Marriage – Three Myths of Saving Marriages

We all know to a degree that every relationship needs some work and management. However, there are some marriages that are in need of special help. These marriages are at the brink divorce and gravely dysfunctional.

Troubled marriages are very sensitive and one should take them seriously. Following the wrong advice can be disastrous and possibly put the last nail on the coffin of your marriage. Unfortunately, bad advice is widespread. Moreover, the existence of internet made it easy for flawed information and erroneous guidance to spread around. Even books contribute to the misinformation.

Here are some of the most common myths about saving marriages:

Asking for forgiveness will fix a troubled marriage

In most cases, lip service is not enough to heal your spouse’s hurt feelings. Even if you are sincere with your apologies, actions still speaks louder than words. Many couples resort to this involuntary response of asking forgiveness. In the long run, simply saying “I’m sorry.” won’t hold up. Empathically discussing the true issues and factors that cause your marriage to shake up is the best way to deal with the situation.

Blindly saying an apology is not an act of empathy. Your spouse will feel that you haven’t bothered with his or her feelings. You need to let your partner feel that you truly own up to your mistakes through actions and you should start by discussing the issues properly with your spouse.

Moving out is a solution to your marital woes

This is one of the most prevalent advice that can permanently screw up your marriage. If you want to accelerate your way to divorce, then move out and separate. Living apart just aggravates the situation as it will just make the both of you get use of the idea of being apart.

Separation is not the solution to your bickering, fighting, and power struggles. It is more of an escape and nothing gets resolved by turning your back to the dilemma. With fighting, you can at least communicate your thoughts and feelings, and know how your partner feels. Nevertheless, issues are best handled through empathic discussion.

On the other hand, there will be situations that call for brief separation. It is only when negative emotions are too high and you would want to avoid hurting each other further. Keep in mind that separation does not always mean moving out. Give you and your spouse space if you need to but always have that sense of living together so that when you want to open up, your partner is accessible.

At the height of the emotion and negative atmosphere, you can both set some specific areas and time of separation in your home. This is not an easy task as but when this method can save your troubled marriage.

React and burst out your emotions

Every time you lose your cool, your marriage is put in more danger. Lashing out is easier because it is an emotional response but chances are, you are going to hurt your spouse with reactive words and actions. It is recommended to think of the things you are about to say before saying them-will they aggravate or will they alleviate?