No one has ever said relationships are easy. Neither with a “soul-mate” nor with “loved-ones.” Arguments, disagreements and conflicts always exist. They are part of the relationship.
Yet, when I see from time to time on Facebook that people define their relationship status as “complicated,” I wonder what does that mean. What do they mean by it? And why do they make it “public?” And what stands behind their decision to describe their relationship as such? Is it to say to the world “Leave me alone, don’t approach me” or is there another motive behind?
Relationships’ stories are as varied and abundant as the number of people on Facebook. And what one means by “complicated” can be totally different from what others mean by it. Yet, one thing they all share in common is: Being in and staying with a “complicated” situation.
Reasons used to explain one’s being stuck in a “complicated” relationship:
* “The other side” is married.
* “The other side” doesn’t want to commit.
* I’m having a love affair with my sister’s husband”.
* “I’m having a love affair with my daughter’s boyfriend”.
* “We have an “open relationship” because of his demands, which I’m not happy with”.
* “My husband has another woman and I still love him so much”.
* “My man has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and I feel ashamed to leave him at this stage of his life, although we have spoken about divorce long time ago”.
* “My wife doesn’t agree to divorce”.
* “My partner is so much younger than I am; I know it isn’t good for none of us, still…”
* “My partner comes and goes every three months; this is going on for three years now; but I love him so much I can’t see myself without him”.
* “My “partner” lives overseas and travels a lot and I rarely get to see him. Still I know I’ll never be able to find another person like him!”
* “I am in my mid-30th and would like to have children and family. He has had his children long time ago and doesn’t want more. But I can’t let go of him.”
* And many more “reasons”, which you might have probably heard and read about.
Some of these might sound like fiction, but we all know that reality surpasses all fiction.
Many are stuck in a relationship which is “complicated”. That’s a fact. And they use different reasons to explain and justify – to themselves as well as to others – why they “allow themselves” to be in and stay in such a situation.
The question is, nonetheless, do they do anything to change it? And an additional question: do they know what makes them stay stuck in such a situation?
You don’t know. They are your Facebook “friends” but you don’t really know who they are or the circumstances of their “complicated relationship”. You can’t help them even if you want to.
And they can’t help themselves either if they believe they are in a “complicated” situation they can’t change.
You may wonder: Do they want to change at all? And if they do, can they?
You probably know that at times it is “easy” for some to self-declare they are in a “complicated situation”, and so “exempt” themselves from changing it and begin to date, find a partner and cultivate a successful intimacy.
No knowing the personal stories of your Facebook’s “friends” and what makes their relationship-status “complicated”, you withhold judgment.
You know that relationships are seldom easy. They often have their ups and downs. You can only hope that your Facebook’s friends will find a way, somehow and at some point, to take the necessary steps which will enable them to change their “complicated” relationship-status to a simpler and more manageable one.