Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Plus Size Relationships – Separating Hype From Spice

We often see the advertisements on television for meeting the right person, mostly depicting beautiful women and attractive men finding each other and falling in love right away. Those who have experienced life on the plus side are well aware that our chances of finding Mr. or Ms. Perfect on a dating website are slim to none, considering that we get much less energy and interest generally speaking. However, once we have found the right person for us, the relationship information dwindles even more significantly.

Let’s face facts: Very few advice columns offer information or education that helps a plus size couple. It seems to be a taboo subject to think that anyone who is intimate can be plus sized, too, so sex advice especially is hard to come by. Here are some tips for spicing things up with your special someone, from a plus size perspective:

Be Realistic. There are many fun and interesting ideas for sexual fun and games out there, but some are just not doable for plus size people. However, there are dozens of lingerie shops that cater to larger couples, especially on the Internet, and most offer discreet shopping from the comfort of home. Do not get discouraged at the typical lingerie store that offers only sizes 0-10 in the most fashionable nighttime styles, find somewhere that has clothing that is sexy and attractive in your size.

The same goes for the many sex-help books available. Be realistic with yourself and each other about what you can and cannot do. Not everyone is attracted to role-playing games, even among the most beautiful people. If the atmosphere around this intimate time is stressed and strained, it loses much of the intimacy and enjoyment. Being realistic will keep things fun for both of you.

Stay Comfortable. No matter how much pressure to perform is out there, knowing each other’s limitations is important. This intimate time together is all about love, not pain or difficulty breathing. If something is too painful, or uncomfortable, never be afraid to tell your partner. True love is not about this type of sacrifice, and the only time pain should be a part of intimacy is when both partners are on board with the idea.

Focus on each other. Don’t worry about what society as a whole thinks of your intimate relationship. There is absolutely no reason that two plus size people should not enjoy each other just as much as any other couple. Rather than putting yourself through the anxiety of public opinion, focus on that special someone. Learn what makes them happy, and dedicate yourself to making each other feel special however you can.

Ignore conventional rules. Most people think that being intimate is all about what is going on in the bedroom. This false perception of love is not limited to the beautiful and thin couples out there, and, in fact, most plus size couples feel this even more keenly. Keep in mind that there is no unwritten rule that says you must be ready for the bedroom if you desire intimacy. If one or both of you is not ready for that step, don’t take it. There are other ways to develop an intimate bond without feeling pressured to have sex, especially early in the relationship.

Being a plus size couple has drawbacks, but as long as you are realistic, honest, and open with each other, there is no reason why the relationship cannot have just as much spice and romance as any other couple. Learn to do things together that develop intimacy, and build the relationship on solid ground, and enjoy having someone special to spend life with.

Relationships: Learning to Relate

Background

Everyone wants to have great relationships. We are social beings. We spend the greater part of our lives in relationship with others. We form primary relationships, and maintain deep primary bonds with our partners and our children. We often have long-term relationships with friends or co-workers and, in most cases, we stay significantly connected with our parents and our siblings. We relate to many, many people in different roles and circumstances and we experience many levels of connection.

We develop and are sustained by being and feeling connected to other people. In the long history of the human race, it is a recent development that individuals can survive living alone. For those who choose to live alone or find they are alone, it remains outside the norm and often is a major adjustment.

Learning through experience

We learn to relate through growing up in relationship and are subject to the experience of the relational styles we are born into. Our own relational styles are formed through this experience. We are very lucky if the sensitivity and responsiveness to our needs is adequate so that we learn how to communicate our own needs as we learn how to relate to the needs of others.

Parents need more support

Unfortunately, these early relational experiences are often an uneducated and somewhat haphazard experience. Most people rely on child rearing practices handed down through generations or brief education from a current pediatric theory. There is limited education provided to parents or to children to help make this original relational experience optimal. We are forced to depend on tradition in learning how to care for our young, which does not help in handling the intense emotional experience that taking care of a baby involves.

Limited preparation

Although relationships are central and vital to our lives, we, in fact, have to wing it in regards to many aspects of relating. Almost every mother has experienced the excruciating sense of inadequacy when finding that they are alone with a crying baby having had too little preparation.

Too many less than optimal outcomes

While there are many wonderful bonds that children form with their best friends and school mates, there are also systemic relational failures in schools as children bully others, form cliques and essentially re-enact the less than optimal relationship skills they have learned at home. Later, as teenagers and young adults entering the relationship and mate-seeking arena, they have to navigate instincts and social pressures, usually without having any understanding as to how to approach these monumental tasks.

Following mate selection, whether we are heterosexual or homosexual or other gendered, we have to relate on a daily basis. Negotiating our own needs in a relationship, particularly when there are differences, is a skill we have only learned through default, usually to the less than optimal experiences we have had. So many couples are deeply troubled as they face problems in their relationships with little or no understanding about what might be going on, and/or how to communicate with the other person to resolve issues.

Relational skills can improve our relationships

The good news is that we can learn more about relating at any stage in our lives. Once we gain even a minimal understanding of what is going on in relationships and begin practicing more conscious communication, our experience becomes self-perpetuating. It feels so much better to communicate in a more relational way and we gain so much more sense of connection and well-being that we can usually overcome our attachment to our old, resistant patterns of communicating, even when they feel like home.

Obstacles in communication can be overcome

Learning to be more relational as adults can feel challenging for those who have developed strong defenses to protect themselves, however it is much easier than we fear. Trying to communicate more about how you feel is a good first step. Practicing listening and trying to attune to the feelings of others is a good second step. This can be as simple as just reflecting back to them what you have understood them to say. Noticing that the feeling of connection increases as you are able to understand how the other person is feeling and also when they are able to reflect back that they get what you are feeling.

Connections can deepen through communication

There is no substitute for the connection that can be experienced by looking at the other person while you are engaging with them. In addition, physical touch is the most direct way of feeling contact. The experience of physical contact is deepened when a person is open emotionally. Opening emotionally can be supported by learning to communicate feelings so that the other person can relate to how you feel.

Relating is fundamental

So much more is understood now about how the early relational behaviors of parents with their babies can positively impact future social capacities. Even though the research is with babies, people of all ages respond well to relational behaviors. Feeling a mutual connection with another person is enlivening at any age.

Relationships: When To Stay And When To Go

The Relationships We Choose

Before I go any further, let me make an important distinction about relationships: some are optional (husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, business partner, friend, associate) and some aren’t (family). Like it or not, your dad will always be your dad and your mum will always be your mum. And so on.

Today, I’m talking about the optional relationships: the ones we choose.

Like it or not, acknowledge it or not, believe it or not, the truth is that right now many of us (maybe the majority) have at least one unhealthy (optional) relationship in our life. It might be with a friend, a colleague, a business partner, a lover or spouse. For the purpose of this discussion, unhealthy could mean anything from poor communication, mutual indifference and boredom through to mental, emotional and (sadly) physical abuse.

And yes, some people will argue that once we’re married that particular relationship is not an optional one (it’s a forever thing – no matter what) but, for the moment, let’s not get into that theological, moral and philosophical debate. Take a look around and you’ll soon discover how forever marriage (often) isn’t.

*Which is not to say that it can’t be (1) lasting or (2) fantastic. I’m not talking about what’s (theoretically) possible but rather, what typically happens. BTW, my parents will celebrate their forty-eighth wedding anniversary this Thursday, so I’m definitely not anti-marriage. Happy anniversary Mary and Ron.

So, here’s a few relevant questions and some possible answers:

(1) Why do we stay in unhealthy (toxic, destructive, dysfunctional, dangerous) relationships?

For a range of reasons but here’s a few no-brainers:

* We associate more pain with getting out of it than staying in it.
* We believe we don’t deserve any better.
* We’d rather be in some kind of relationship – even an unhealthy one – than no kind of relationship (being alone terrifies us).
* We naively think that it (our unhealthy relationship) will somehow work itself out. Miraculously get better.
* We lie to ourselves and to others. We pretend it’s all okay because we’re scared to face the unpleasant reality.
* We’re scared of what he/she might do if we try to leave.
* We’re scared of what people will say and think.
* We tolerate the emotional negatives because our practical (financial) situation provides us with a level of security and predictability.
* We do it to protect our kids.

(2) When should we (try to) fix it?

* Most times – especially if we’re talking about a marriage.
* When we genuinely value the relationship.
* When we honestly believe that it can be a healthy, happy, positive place to be.
* When we feel strongly about the person (in a good way).
* When both parties are prepared to work (and keep working) to create a healthier relationship.
* When we know that we have contributed to the problem (and have the skills, desire and strategies to do better).

(3) When should we consider forgetting it?

* When we are in danger.
* When we are not respected or valued.
* When the relationship is like a painful (version of) Groundhog Day.
* When our dominant and prevailing emotional state (in terms of the relationship) is a negative one (fear, anxiety, frustration, misery).
* When we start dreaming about an alternative life (a lot).
* When we find ourselves constantly making excuses for someone else’s behaviour.

Anti-Misery
Now, before anyone accuses me of anything, let me be clear today – I’m of the opinion that ending any marriage is always a last resort. I’m neither anti-marriage nor pro-divorce. What I am is anti-misery. But, I do wonder about the value (for anyone) of staying in something that’s toxic, destructive and stressful (and not likely to change), when there’s another option.

Another reality.

For me, saying yes to an unhealthy relationship is saying no to my own self-worth. My own possibilities. My own happiness. For me, if a relationship is fixable (and I’m motivated to do so), I’ll endeavour to fix it.

If not, I’ll forget it.

Yes, this is only the beginning of this discussion and no, this article is not a solution to anything. It’s a few thoughts about a very complex issue. I’d love to hear yours.

Self-Manipulations You Use Without Being Aware Of Doing So Sabotages Your Relationships

If you have been on the dating scene for quite a long time and haven’t yet had success in cultivating a satisfying long-term relationship, it is very likely that you find different ways to justify it. You might tell yourself that:

* “It is all because of him/her”;

* You didn’t really want a committed relationship;

* “The time wasn’t ripe yet”;

* You’re too busy pursuing your career at the moment;

* You are a special person who needs someone special.

* And so on.

The problem is that you do yourself disservice with such justifications and explanations. Rather than admitting the true reason(s) for your failures, you prefer to find excuses. Doing so apparently “helps” you to feel “better” about yourself, but will keep you sabotaging your attempts at relationships since you will not embark on a way to change your attitudes and behaviors.

Not allowing yourself to admit the “truth” happens sometimes out of ignorance and lack of Self-Awareness. You believe in your own convictions and excuses; you don’t consider, even for a minute, that you might be using self-manipulations. When this is the case:

* You might be tell yourself you are a person who “loves people” who therefore “falls in love” very easily, “proving” to yourself that this is why you always have a partner.

But could it be that you are actually controlled by the fear of being alone which drives you to jump right into a new relationships the minute your old relationship fails?

* You may view yourself as a very friendly person who finds it easy to make friends and enter a relationship.

But could it be true that you are driven by insecurity and the need to feel you are desired?

* You may perceive yourself to be a person who has much love to bestow on your partner. But could it be that it is not “so much love” that drives you, but the need to be loved and appreciated?

* You may tell yourself you have a genuine, in-born willingness to give whatever you can to your partner.

But could it be that you are driven by neediness to receive and your giving is intended (unconsciously) to “get back” thanks and appreciation from your partner?

* You might perceive yourself as a person who is liberal and free, who view men and women as having same rights, one who doesn’t hesitate to go to bed on first date and start a relationship “the morning after”.

But is it possible that you are actually driven by low self-esteem and insecurity, afraid that if you won’t go to bed on first date you won’t hear from your date again?

As long as you don’t become aware of, realize and acknowledge your own self-manipulations, you will continue behaving in the dating scene and in relationships out of fears, needs and dependency, and won’t be able to develop a healthy and successful relationship.

Stages of Relationships

Relationships do not really emerge out of nowhere. They are established, nourished and sustained. The following are the stages of relationships: attraction stage, adaptation stage, courtship stage, conflict stage, and responsibility stage. Each stage has a necessary contribution on the couples’ connection. They shape the couples’ views on interpersonal relations and they determine the couples’ capability of handling the bond.

Couples need to run through each stage. It becomes an inevitable cycle that any couple should undergo. They might move to pass each stage immediately otherwise linger on it for long until each stage is fully learned. They can move to and from each stage but can never work out away with it. Unfortunately, these phases can furthermore stay sabotaged. A connection can result on one stage especially if couples don’t observe any cause of moving further.

All phases are important in enhancing the connection. The stages determine the duration of the bond and temper its strength. Furthermore, each stage offers several useful things. It shapes the couples’ emotions and fosters maturity. Also,it uncovers the couples’ discrete personalities. In addition, it molds the couples’ coping mechanisms at some stage and point in conflicts. These stages constantly prompt couples that relationships can stay both pleasant and traumatic. Each level can bring both joy and hurts but essentially allows the couples to realize from the experience. Certainly, it can be amazingly rewarding especially after lovers triumph over trials.

These stages of relationships are essential before couples exchange “I dos”. In the past, lovers commit themselves for a long-time relationship, they have to see to it that they’ve passed each stage and have learned much from it. Each period is a soul-searching phase which gives each couple the option to weigh things if the relationship is worth keeping otherwise not. Each can be a significant instant designed for couples because they might never know the consequences of their responses. Each cycle takes the couples a deeper awareness of one’s strength and weakness. Each stage poses a challenge on the couples’ decision-making capabilities. One party’s response to situations might not remain acceptable for the other.

These stages of relationships work as couples’ road map in making the issue more passionate and intimate. Being a roadmap, they function in the same way as guides that take couples to a lasting bond. They remind couples to invest a terrific deal of moment, money and effort to form relationships work.

The Pros and Cons of Open Relationships

An open relationship has been debated in many meeting place whether it would benefit a committed relationship or not. Shirley MacLaine talked openly about having those relationships during her 30-year marriage when she was a guest on Oprah. She claimed that because they both agreed on an open relationship, they remained married and friends. Many psychologists disagree with that contention. They believe that those relationships would hurt the couple more in the long run. In fact, many experts claim that most couples end up breaking apart after getting into those relationships. If you are considering getting into an open relationship, let’s look into the pros and cons before you do.

Having your cake and eating it too

But first things first. What is an open relationship? Simply said, it is having your cake and eating it too. It is wherein couples agree to have extramarital sexual relationships simultaneous without being accused of infidelity.

Starts sleeping with others

Marriage is revered in our society as the pinnacle of commitment for two individuals who love each other and decide to spend the rest of their lives together. Monogamy is often times expected to be part of this committed relationship. If one goes astray and starts sleeping with others, the primary partner would be hurt, even devastated. This is what happened in the case of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Maria Shriver’s expectation of a monogamous relationship was shattered. This would have been avoided if Arnold was honest and openly told Maria about the relationship. If both decided to get into an open relationship, Arnold didn’t have to hide and lie all these years. Maria could have gotten involved with other men and both were even. There wouldn’t have been painful surprises to Maria and the children.

Pains and hurt

This is the first benefit of getting into an open relationship. Pains and hurt from missed expectations could have been avoided. Honesty and trust can be maintained between the couple. There is no need to hide the other relationships from the partner.

Set mutually acceptable boundaries

Open relationships work not only for married couples but also for dating couples. They can discuss their preferences and set mutually acceptable boundaries in order to make the open relationship arrangement work.

Complement what the primary partner

The most common type of open relationships is primary/secondary open relationship. Here, the couple agrees that they are committed to each other and to see another person to complement what the primary partner cannot provide. They understand that no one is perfect and that someone out there certainly can fill up the vacuum that the primary partner cannot give. Examples would be time, sense of humor, sexual fulfillment or just being there whenever the primary partner isn’t available. This arrangement is oftentimes beneficial for committed couples engaged in long distance relationship.

Men are polygamous by nature

Since it has been said that men are polygamous by nature, an open relationship is viewed as being able to level the playing field for both parties. It is perceived as being fair for both the man and woman.
Many couples who engage in open relationships also claim to have impassioned there boring sex life by being able to bring new tricks from their outside adventures.

Jealousy

The big disadvantage to this arrangement though is the jealousy that can destroy the relationship if not handled well. Many couples claim that while both have logically agreed upon the rules of engagement, jealousy continues to creep in. The arrangement was discussed by reason. But emotions can sometimes run wild and go out of control. While open relationship seemed exciting at first and brought in some sparks and youthful energy into the bedroom. Once started, there is no way of getting rid of the haunting visions of the other partner’s escapades.

Be very sure of your motive

So before even starting to get into an open relationship, be very sure of your motive. Why do you want to get into it? Wouldn’t you be jealous to see your partner having sparkles in her eyes after a night out with the secondary relationship? Wouldn’t she get mad if you came in late after a date with the other girl? Are you both committed to protecting what you have right now? How would you feel if your partner eventually decides to leave you for the other guy? Would you be hurt or be happy for her?

Open communication is the key

Just like in any relationship, an open communication is the key to keeping the relationship intact. If there is any brewing issue, discuss them right away before emotions take control of the conversation.

Your Psychic Relationships

Relationships can be a war zone or a tranquil garden, and its often you that create your own problems or a mismatch in individual personalities. Do you realize that you create the relationships that you desire and when you run into problems within a relationship? it can be a reflection of lack within your own being. It could also be the lack of vibration match for each other. The same element is constant – lack. This is what results in problems within a relationship, and it does not need to be within a loving relationship of a partner or family unit. You can feel the effects of lack in work relationships or with friendly relationships. The truth is that you have the power to attract what you desire in your relationships. Ever heard the saying “Like attracts Like?” It’s true, and you attract what you vibrationally desire at the level you omit. Therefore you create your own success in relationships by your emotional output.

For instance, there are individuals that look for love, who want to find that mate for life and yet this goal can seem like a distant memory. One thing which you should learn is that you have to ask, again another saying springs to mind “ask, and it will be given” suggesting that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. So if you want a soul mate – ask the universe. There is an easy way to ask and be sure that you are specific – you don’t want a mixed bag, do you? Take a note book and write a letter to your guardian angel or yourself. Be honest, say exactly how you feel, if you are lonely then say it. Next think of all the qualities that you would want in a partner and write them in your letter. If you want your partner to love the theatre – say so. Last but not least, thank the universe for bringing the partner of your dreams to you and hold the vision in your mind. Now sign off your letter and forget about it. Let the universe do the work for you.

There is nothing worse than loneliness, yet we have the ability to change this should we wish to. All you have to do is ask and send out your order into the universe. Patience is another important aspect of all this; do not expect things to happen immediately.

Scorpio Love Relationships – Saving Your Relationship

This a subject that I have many years of personal experience of, my wife is a Scorpio. This is the eighth sign of the Zodiac and people born under this sign are best described as “magnetic, elusive, sexy and determined” I would add one more quality from personal experience “fiery”. The sign of Scorpio is astrologically described as water and ice, a cool character, but when under the influence of the red planet Mars they turn “fiery”, so watch out!

If you are lucky enough to be in a relationship with a Scorpio woman and you have gone through a breakup, you will undoubtedly be drawn back to her by the magnetism of her personality and if she takes you back you are doubly blessed because if a Scorpio woman end the relationship then it is usually final. Now you are back together again, then it is time to wise up to the Scorpio characteristics, like I had to early in our relationship. Jealousy this star sign has a high potential for jealousy, so if she even thought that you were cheating you will be in for a tough time.

If she decides that she will recommit to your relationship then she will be determined to make it work, so do not allow any suspicion that you might ever cheat again to come onto the scene. Trust is a big thing with a Scorpio and if you break the trust for a second time, even though she forgave the first break, chances are that you will be on your way, even if deep down she wants you to stay. A Scorpio is most intense and to them usually broken trust equals broken relationship.

Determination is possibly the strongest personality trait associated with a Scorpio woman, once they have determined a course of action, then you have to live with that. For instance if she thinks you may cheat again, you will have to really work at your side of the relationship to convince her that it will not happen.

If she was the one who strayed and she has realised that it was a mistake, be forgiving let her know how much you are hurt and the damage it has caused, for a Scorpio it is difficult to admit that she made a mistake. Just give her time to work through her mistake, do not keep bringing it up and she will love you the more for it.

Scorpio woman like constant mental stimulation so boredom is probably her worst fear, they enjoy a challenge, debate or even an argument. So when you are in a Scorpio love relationship, especially when you are trying to mend the relationship don not be afraid to make a move as any move is better than none at preventing boredom.

From my personal experience of a Scorpio love relationship, it has been the greatest and longest lasting experience of my life.

Restoring Trust in Relationships – Tips That Help

One of the things that wreck relationships and marriages is betrayal of trust. When a partner has violated the basis of trust in the relationship, it can be a very painful scenario. Restoring that trust can be one of the most difficult things to do. Trusting again can be quite challenging, but it is achievable. However, it may take some time.

Here are some tips that can help you trust your partner again and restore your relationship.

- Every action geared towards a meaningful result has to be planned or decided consciously. You need to make a firm decision to trust your spouse again by putting the past behind you. The more you become obsessed with the circumstances that led to the denting of the trust, the more difficult it will be to let go! If you truly want to keep up the relationship, you must decide to bury the past and have the courage and strength to trust again.

- The oil that greases the engine of love and trust is forgiveness. You need to forgive your spouse for whatever it was that broke the trust between you. If you are able to forgive, there will be a spark of love to ignite your trust again. All you need is the will to try it and see how it works for you.

- The defaulting partner should also take steps to restore the betrayed trust by sincerely showing remorse and pledging allegiance. Prove to your hurting partner that you sincerely regret your actions and are willing to turn to a new leaf. Show your partner that there’s no reason to be suspicious of your loyalty again. Even the most hard-hearted person can melt in love when true repentance and loyalty is shown.

- There should also be a collective effort to make the relationship work again despite all odds. Let there be peaceful dialogue and specific mapped-out goals to get each partner committed to restoring the trust again. Fresh commitments should be made towards the relationship or marriage.

- The hurting partner should learn to share the pains caused by the action of the other while making efforts to tame and calm the temper. This way, the person who violated the trust can sincerely share the pain and take the necessary steps to heal the wounds. Remember, talking things over is the best way to resolve issues and bring joy back to a soured relationship.

- When trying to reconcile, don’t use phrases or words that can spark off conflicts again. You should present your case constructively. Use words that show you still care about the relationship and that you want to restore the betrayed trust. For example, instead of as saying, “You are very wrong”, you can say, “Don’t you think it would have been better if it was done the other way round.” Instead of saying, “It has to be so,” it would be more pleasant to say, “Is it not better if it can be done like this.” The right words can swiftly reconcile issues and restore a relationship.

You need to understand that it takes time to build trust again. Therefore, you have to adopt virtues such as patience, honesty, commitment, love, and endurance, until things become normal again in your relationship.

Wanna Know the Secret to Relationships?

So you’re looking for the secrets to relationships? Could you imagine the money one could make if one really knew the secret to relationships?

Such secrets would fetch a pretty penny because there are millions of people who want a happy relationship that would be willing to pay for it.

Well I’m not going to charge you a dime, that’s right, I’m going to give it to your free of charge. There are quite a few ways of making your relationship strong and giving it the best possible chance of lasting a lifetime.

Many of them are just plain old common sense; others are just reminders of what it was like when the relationship was new. And not one of them is a secret. However let’s have a look at some of these…..

Secrets for a Successful Relationship

Love – You can’t just say ‘I love you’, you have to show your love. Saying you love someone with actions that say something else is not love. Unless you truly feel genuine love for someone and feel comfortable expressing it to them you should not be in a relationship with them.

Respect – If you don’t have respect for the person you’re in a relationship with, there’s very little hope for the relationship. One really good ‘secret’ to remember that’s important for any relationship to work is respect. If you make fun of your partner or put them down, feel he or she is dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then why are you even with them?

Kindness – Always treat your partner with kindness. Another very good ‘secret’ to remember for keeping your relationship on the right path is to be kind and courteous to your partner all the time. Kindness creates a nice calm warm loving and caring atmosphere which is perfect of any relationship to flourish in.

Thoughtfulness – You should place your partner’s wishes and desires on the very top of your list. Most of the time it’s the little gestures that are often some of the most powerful ones.

Honesty – We all know that lies can damage and ruin a relationship quickly, even if the lies are about things that are not important. If you are willing and capable of lying about something that’s not important, than how can you be believed when an important subject arises? Stay away from deceptive behavior and you won’t have to worry about lying from the start.

These so called ‘secrets’ are all very important for the healthy survival of any relationship. And these ‘secrets’ must be done by both partners in order for this to work. If just one person is trying to implement them alone, there is no chance of achieving a healthy happy relationship.

For some however it may be difficult figuring out how to express many of them.

Some Ideas for Expressing Yourself

Honesty, this is really an easy one, just be open and honest with your partner. Don’t ever be fearful of letting your partner see who you really are, especially when having feeling of you feel loneliness, fear, sadness, or vulnerability. Your partner should be the closest person to you and if you can’t be who you are around them, who can you be yourself around?

Showing kindness and expressing respect can go hand in hand. When you treat your partner with respect, you’re showing your support for them. You back them up in their actions and ideas because you have respect and belief in them.

Even if you don’t totally feel they’re making the proper decision, you can respect their choice and be kind in how you express your feeling about what they are doing.

One of those so called ‘secrets’ to a good, healthy relationship is the ability to disagree pleasantly.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, also and telling your partner that you love them is defiantly a wonderful way to express your love.

However your partner may feel a lot more love from you if you give them a massage after a long day. Or maybe you cook a special meal; this is always very nice especially when the partner who doesn’t usually do the cooking does it.

And since everyone perceives love differently, find out what your partner perceives as the most loving thing and do that for them. You’ll be expressing your love perfectly for that person and being thoughtful as well.

A relationship that is truly happy and successful is one that understands these ‘secrets’ and combines and applies them creating a relationship of partners that love and respect one another and are very happy with each other’s company.

Implement these ‘secrets’ into your relationship today.